Hate is defined as an intense aversion, hostility, dislike, disgust, etc., coming from a sense of injury, fear, or anger. There are questions out there that I find annoying, uncomfortable, irritating, and rude; but I don’t abhor one enough to say that I hate it.
Unless a person explains to others why they feel how they do about the question; no one else will know they hate it. The only one negatively impacted by hating a question; is that person. If I hate the question that most people start conversations with: “how are you?” Only I know that. So, one day I’m walking along and run into someone, I either know or don’t. Before a word is spoken my mind thinks about the question that I hate. Immediately my muscles all tense, and my expression changes, and I get this dread because they are going to ask that question. They haven’t said a word. But my body language is now showing them that I’m tense about something. In this case, I’m the only one whose upset or angry about the question. Then my tone of voice will be filled with annoyance, or snapping, or something less than pleased to talk to them. I can’t read their minds to know their motivations behind asking, or if they wouldn’t have stood there and actually listened to me tell them the entire answer. It’s an assumption that’s been made; and the only one suffering from it is the one who hates the question.
When it comes to the question; “how are you?” It’s overused in society; yet its also the traditional way in which people greet each other; strangers, friends, and family. People don’t always know how to answer. Does the other person really want to know? Should I answer with one word? If I answer with longer will they get annoyed? If I tell them about my bad day will they label me as a negative person and run? Watch the anti-depression drug commercials and we are all supposed to be 100% happy twenty four hours a day; every day. When no one is 100% happy twenty four hours a day; every day.
Life is also too short to hate things. As Yoda explained, in the Phantom Menace; “Fear is the path to the dark side, fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate; hate leads to suffering.”
A Leisurely Chat 